The House That Albus Built & other nursery rhymes
by MadPiper
Summary: Funny take on the Nursery Rhyme the House that Jack built and other nursery rhymes. Yes we're a bit wacky but it's fun. Please review if you want to see more.
1. Nursery Rhyme 1

Yes We love nursery rhymes! We don't own anything but our own insanity. If we get reviews more nursery rhymes to follow. Just imagine how we could mutilate Hickory Dickory Dock, or Winken Blinken and Nod.

_**This Is the House That Albus Built**_

*This is the house that Albus built

*This is the food that lay in the house that Albus built

*This is the Ferret (aka Draco) that ate the food, that lay in the house that Albus built

*This is the cat (Crookshanks) that killed the ferret that ate the food, that lay in the house that Albus built

*This is the dog (Sirius) that talked to the cat, that killed the ferret, that ate the food that lay in the house that Albus built

*This is the cow (Umbridge) with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog, that talked to the cat, that killed the ferret, that ate the food that lay in the house that Albus built.

*This is Harry all forlorn that wrote for the cow with the crumpled horn, that tossed the dog, that talked to the cat, that killed the ferret, that ate the food that lay in the house that Albus built.

*This is Ginny all tattered and torn that kissed Harry all forlorn, that wrote for the cow with the crumpled horn, that tossed the dog, that talked to the cat, that killed the ferret, that ate the food that lay in the house that Albus built.

*This is Ron all shaven and shorn that yelled at Ginny all tattered and torn, for kissing Harry all forlorn that wrote for the cow with the crumpled horn, that tossed the dog, that talked to the cat, that killed the ferret, that ate the food that lay in the house that Albus built.

*This is Hermione who wakes in the morn who fancies Ron all shaven and shorn, that yelled at Ginny all tattered and torn for kissing Harry all forlorn, that wrote for the cow with the crumpled horn, that tossed the dog, that talked to the cat, that killed the ferret, that ate the food that lay in the house that Albus built.


	2. Nursery Rhyme 2

Yet even more fractured nursery rhymes! We don't own anything but our own insanity. If we get reviews more nursery rhymes to follow. Just imagine how we could mutilate Hickory Dickory Dock, or Winken Blinken and Nod.

**_Ron's bedtime mantra to 1st years_**

Transfiguration is vexation,

Divination is as bad;

The rule of Charms perplexes me,

And Potions drives me mad.

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The actual Nursery Rhyme is:

Multiplication is vexation,

Division is as bad;

The Rule of Three perplexes me,

And fractions drive me mad.


	3. Nursery Rhyme 3

Yet even more fractured nursery rhymes! We don't own anything but our own insanity. If we get reviews more nursery rhymes to follow. Just imagine how we could mutilate Hickory Dickory Dock, or Winken Blinken and Nod.

Hey Dumble-diddle

Wormtail stole the fiddle.

And Moony he howled at the moon

Padfoot laughed to see such sport

and Prongs, he began to swoon.


	4. Nursery Rhyme 4

**_YOU ASKED FOR IT, YOU GOT IT!_**

Yet even more fractured nursery rhymes! We don't own anything but our own insanity. If we get reviews more nursery rhymes to follow. Just imagine how we could mutilate Hickory Dickory Dock, or Winken Blinken and Nod.

One, two, I'll transfigure you.

Three, four, I'll take potions no more.

Five, six, Our wands are not sticks.

Seven, eight, Hermione studies late.

Nine, ten, Ron's asleep again.

Eleven, twelve, Calm yourselves.

The final line McGonagall yells as it is 4 am and we are still doing this silliness.


	5. Nursery Rhyme 5

**_YOU ASKED FOR IT, YOU GOT IT!_**

Yet even more fractured nursery rhymes! We don't own anything but our own insanity. More reviews = more nursery rhymes to follow. 

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**Miss Marauder1** - Thanks for the reviews. We're really glad you like them so much. With so much encouragement, the insanity is sure to continue. :)

**marajade179** - Thanks for the review and thanks for the idea. We'd considered doing Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater, but hadn't had the words yet. Tonight it all came together. We are planning one based on The Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe.

**coolcat411** - Thanks for the review. We're glad you liked it.

**Sirius' Counterpart** - Thanks for the review. We're definitely planning on doing more. After all, we haven't started on Dr. Seuss yet. :)

**RivkaCricketQ** - Thanks for the review. We're delighted that you liked it, and yes, we will write more.

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**To Everyone** - How many of you are like me and when you look at the Weasley twins and their friend, Lee Jordan, are reminded of Larry, Moe, and Curly (for those comically impaired, they're the Three Stooges)? [from Keith, the husband half of the writing team]

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Peter, Peter, the Death Eater

Was a Marauder, now's a cheater

He lived with Ron as a rat quite well

Till Sirius came and made his life hell

(We came up with this one in about 2 minutes flat.)


	6. Nursery Rhyme 6

**_YOU ASKED FOR IT, YOU GOT IT!_**

Yet even more fractured nursery rhymes! We don't own anything but our own insanity. More reviews = more nursery rhymes to follow. 

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_A lullabye for Draco from his mom._

Rock-a-bye Draco, Thy cradle is green.

I am your mother, your father's obscene!

He lives for the Dark Lord. At his beck and call

End up in Azkaban when we've lost it all.

_And we wonder why Draco turned out the way he did hmmm?_


	7. Nursery Rhyme 7

**_YOU ASKED FOR IT, YOU GOT IT!_**

Yet even more fractured nursery rhymes! We don't own anything but our own insanity. More reviews = more nursery rhymes to follow. 

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There was an old woman who lived in a Burrow

Her twins caused so much trouble her brow began to furrow

With so many children and nothing else to do,

She scourgified the house and a child or two.


End file.
